Emotionally Drained

I'm exteremely exhausted... Tired of being too harsh on myself... At the same time, I can't stop thinking what went wrong at the first place... My friend highlighted that it is not necessary to get into those details... What has happened had already took place and there is no turning back.. True.. I agree with her but still, I can't ask my mind to stop thinking about it..

When I reflect back, I would have made mistakes too... And maybe mistakes that I cannot and will never be able to rectify... Is it wrong to protect and give unconditionally to someone you truly love? It is very subjective eh...

I seriously believe that if you were to love someone, you will definitely go all out, by hook or by crook to love him/her without hesitation... But at the end, the result may be like this... Not appreciated and not loved anymore...

In my previous blogs, I did mention that good doesn't always begets good... And in this scenario, 'It' seriously doesn't know how to value and appreciate a relationship... Deep down, I know that 'It' will never get another person like me.. Not trying to boast... I can be considered an endagered KL species that behave this way... Kinda orthodox... There are people like me, but only a handful of them... Women these days normally put career or family first before their spouse...

Of course, when we already have something, we don't really know how to appreciate and be contented... Instead, we always ask for more... We will only realize the missing part after a while and when that happens, it is always too late... Definitely, I wouldn't want to be an asshole who behaves that way...

My mom told me that it was 'Its' sister who asked 'It' to break off with me as soon as possible... There's a Chinese saying 'Better short pain than long pain'... Yes, I agree with her.. But doesn't she realize I wasn't given a chance? She should know it better...

You see, she was once dumped by her current husband.. Initially, her husband found another woman and he just took everything from the house they were living together... She was sad too.. And till today, I still cannot believe as a woman herself, she should know the pain and agony that it would cause to me.. But, she didn't give a damn and encouraged 'It' to take a brutal way... Come'n la... You weren't given a chance in the past and you are asking your own brother to do that...

It's not that I'm blaming her.. I am very puzzled to know that it was her suggestion.. After all, we are women... She should know better too as she's more matured (which now I dont think so)... Also, no one can force someone to do anything so 'It' is just cold-blooded.. Now you know why I always use 'It' instead of 'him'...

People should realize that everyone deserve a chance no matter what happens... If there isn't, every husband and wife would immediately divorce each other without trying to reconcile differences first... Then what is the meaning of marriage and death till us apart???

Anyway, I am totally disappointed and emotionally drained... However, I will keep telling myself that it's okay to fret and be sad now... And since 'It' doesn't want to be friends, which I feel that it is so childish, then be it....

Every dog has its day... I believe that 'It' and 'Its' sister will definitely have to payback for their deeds they had done.. Whatever comes around goes around...Although my colleague made fun that we are not dogs... But the principle applies to everyone... Whether you are a dog, cat, human or whatever...

Cheers...