Betrayed, Deceived and Disappointed

I had some feedbacks saying that I am very negative these days..well, sorry but i jz can't control that idiotic feeling.. nowadays, my life is boring n mundane.. after so many things, i really feel betrayed, deceived n disappointed by an extremely good friend of mine... That kinda feeling is extremely unbearable... I've tried my best to forget, forgive n go on with my life but it's difficult...

I don't pity myself.. But i realize i'm hurting myself terribly by allowing my stupid mind to keep replaying the hurtful memories embedded far into my subconscious mind.. Bet Freud would be glad to help me if he's still alive..

I am thinking why humans must keep hurting themselves by remembering the sadness and sorrows that they went through..No matter how hard v try to think about happy and joyous moments, v still tend to remember the nasty things that happened...

Well, as for my 'best friend', i am still able to treat that 'human' as a good friend although i feel i am being totally ignored.. Sigh..but what is there to lose.. Some told me to hate that species of human but it's too hard cz i've treated that creature with much love, care n attention that it's so difficult for me to hate that snobbish species... see.. told u i am really a dumb person..

Anyway, i still have to put on a happy mask no matter where i am..at home, at work n in front of everybody...i don't want to be a burden to someone cz i feel it's a sin...

So friends, take good care of urselves..don't be a failure like me.. Life's so short.. I really don't know how long i will be able to last like that..

Cheers...

April 20, 2007 Permalink Comments (0)