Best Female Actress- Maevis

I thought i would hv a great day ahead..but i did not..first thing in the morning, i thought that i'd lost my purse.. Then, i was devastated that my my good friend- 'the heart ripper' told me 'It' can't fetch me home as 'It' already had plans to entertain someone special tonight...

As a usual cry baby, i nearly cried in the car... seriously, i think i should be given an oscar's for being able to act so well.. if i can't the best actress award, the best supporting actress would be just fine for me..I could even hold back my tears and joked with 'It'... Moreover, i even gave some valuable hints to 'It' on how to amuse 'Its' special friend...

To make things worse, we had some conflicts at work.. But luckily it isn't that bad.. Had nice colleagues and friends around.. At least, it could take some of my obsession and paranoia towards 'It.'

Again, the things that I'm constantly thinking are re-affirmed by a nice friend of mine.. She told me that it is useless to be so kind to someone when that someone doesn't really care about us cz they won't treat us the same like we do... It's just like good never always begets good and vice versa..

Life's so unfair and unpredictable.. nevertheless, we still have to live our lives.. most of us can make it through bad times, but some of us can't.. and a handful of us may think of doing something really silly, stupid and insane by hurting ourselves..confession- i nearly tried jumping down from a condo's 14th floor when i was 18 but was rescued...

See what i mean? Right now, I'm in the 'handful' category... And it really tempts me everyday as when i look down a tall building, i feel so free... Hiding behind my mask isn't the solution.. I'm trying to be strong, smiling, laughing, forgetting and ignoring the pain.. However, the more i try to forget and ignore, the more i'll feel depressed, sad and lonely...

You may think i'm remarkably stupid, but if u were in my shoes, you would feel the same way...Certainly, i'll try my utmost best to stay positive... Then again, it's very hard to say how much longer i can tolerate with my cuckoo feelings... At some point, i'm afraid that i can't make it...

All i've to say is i love my family and friends very much and if something bad really befalls me, i hope they'll still remember me and love me as much as i do and i'm sorry for the grievances that i'll cause..
Oscar's Best Actress goes to............................................................................... ..................................................................................
....Maevis.............Cheers.................................................

April 24, 2007 Permalink Comments (0)