Happy Dilemma???

An irony title eh... Happy and yet in a dilemma... How on earth can that happen.. Wonder why... Weird..So very weird..

Just a few weeks ago, I was sad not having someone to love again and not being loved anymore... Now, when there's a chance again, I'm afraid... Fear is chewing me down slowly and steadily...

It's nice to know someone cares for you... Someone who promise to be there for you... Someone who'll miss you and someone who treasures your company... Nevertheless, you feel insecure and scared that history will repeat again...

No doubt that you would want to give it a try, but you tend to shiver and tremble the moment you start to imagine if a new relationship is to bloom... What will happen in the future? Will it be a secured relationship? How sure are you? What is the probability of success... Mathematical computations can never ever solve this equation...

You are petrified as you feel it'll never work out... Okay.. Cut the crap.. My boss once said that I'm a complicated person... I shouldn't think too much and too far away... Maybe she's right, but on the other hand, I have to always think about what will happen in the future... Also, I tend to believe that I'll have a bleak and dark future ahead... Someone please knock my head (HIT IT HARD) if possible as I constantly think negatively...

The verdict is..... I'M STILL VERY AFRAID... Although there's much assurance given, my heart is so timid right now... My heart tells me to give myself and others a chance, but my mind (which is my rational side) is reiterating that I should rest, forget about the whole incident and just move on independently...

I hate to give a vague answer... Anyone who knows me would say I'm a blatant, transparent and a too straightforward person... I don't like to beat around the bush and will just say anything about how I feel... To anyone.. (Of course not to my boss la...)

If I say I like you, I mean it and if I dislike you, I'm DAMN sure about it!!! Well, again, it all boils down to me...

If you were me? What would you do? You have pleasant feelings and is very comfy to have someone nice around you.. And yet, you still FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN which I admit it's quite silly to behave that way...

Cheers~~~